Black Widow
by Broadwaylover5300
Summary: Almost nobody's what they seem to be.  And the ones that are, you really have to watch out for.  Rated M for stong sexual content.


**Hey! So this is just something small I whipped up! **

**I don't own Hairspray, nor do I own its characters. **

I can't remember a time that Shelley Ambrose was ever a normal girl. Not since I first met her, and I've known her for a long, long time. She always had… well, you know how on TV, they always talk about those girls that have that something, how those big-shot producers see some girl and they say "she's got _it_," and they can never know what _it_ is? Well, Shelley had it, whatever it is. She may have even been it, like, the model for it.

All the guys always liked her, and she knew it, let me tell ya. She used that like you would use a .44 Magnum. She was like those animals who get hooked up with a guy, get themselves knocked up, and then eat their husbands or boyfriends or whatever they are. Of course, she's never eaten anyone, and she thought she was too good to get herself in deep with the guys. I guess I thought I was different, but… well, you know.

I guess I was stupid, but you know how it goes with guys. We always gotta have that thing that nobody else has, and get it no matter what we have to do. That's how guys always get into trouble, at least guys like me. That's why I'm here now, 'cause I didn't know when to let go. Guess I still don't, 'cause in spite of everything, I still want to be with her.

So, it all started one day after the show ended. I was around the corner of the set, havin' a smoke, Marlboro, when here comes Shelley, just as cool as ever.

"Can I have a smoke?" she says, and she's got charm and cool dripping off her voice, smooth as silk. Before I know what I'm doin', I've got the cigarette in my hand and she's takin' it.

"Got a light?" she says as she places the Marlboro between her red lips. I'm kinda weirded out for a second, 'cause Marlboros are for cowboys and sailors, not for girls like Shelley. That's what they've got Virginia Slims for. But it's good. Shelley could make anything look attractive. I pull out my Zippo and light her up.

She starts puffin', looking at me through the smoke, and let me tell ya, she really had the charm turned on that day. Battin' her eyelashes, smilin' that wicked smile only she can smile, and all that stuff. I was in deep, but of course, I didn't know that then.

So we start talkin' about stuff, and after a while, she moves in kinda close and rubs up against me. I felt _everything, _man, and that's not exaggerating. And it's not like it's my fault, 'cause it's like she made sure I did, you know what I mean? Anyway, I did, and… well, I won't go into it, 'cause I know you know what I mean. Anyway, long story short, she eventually gets me to agree to take her to dinner and maybe spend the night together.

So dinner's good, and Shelley's still goin' at it the whole time. I don't know how you make eatin' sexy, but she knows how, let me tell ya. The waiter was gettin' into it too, which is pretty funny, even now, but anyway, back to the story.

So, after dinner, we head over to my place. We get in about midnight and we head to the bedroom. So, Shelley immediately starts… well, you know. I didn't really like that all that much; I'm one of those types that goes for some preliminary romancin', but you can't always get what you want, like the Stones would say. So I get in my bed, waitin', and here comes Shelley. I won't go into it too much, but she looked beautiful. That's all I'm gonna say. So, yeah, the night went on, and… it was good. Yeah. I don't know when I conked out, but it must have been around two or three.

So I wake up the next morning, feelin' good, which is sorta a big deal for me in the mornings, 'cause I'm not usually a morning person. I guess it had somethin' to do with the night before. I'm not that way for long, though, because I notice, first, that Shelley's not there with me, and my bedroom's a mess. Drawers thrown across the room, clothes everywhere, that sort of thing. I go through the rest of the place, and things don't get any better. Every room's destroyed, and all my money's gone. Wallet's gone, all my stashes have been ransacked, everything. Even all my nice stuff's gone, like my gold watch. The window by the fire escape's open and the screen's kicked out, so I guess she got out that way.

So, that's it. I haven't seen her since that night, and that was a week ago. It's funny, 'cause though I'm mad at her, I'm still concerned for her and hope she's safe. Weird, huh? Yeah, I know, I'm a nutcase.

What's that, officer? My name? All right. My name is Cornelius J. Collins, and this is my statement.


End file.
